Content Warning: Upsetting descriptions of Pet death

it was February 2024 and I was playing through spiritfarer again for a 2nd time and I was getting to the end of it

I had only a few errands left for one of the spirits and i paced my self through them and said goodbye to the last one I don't remember who it was but I loved them all the same as the others

being placed back on my boat there was not much left to do

I thought to myself "well here I am again at the end" I knew what was coming up and I didn't want to let go

this time round felt alot more impactful as I had lost my blaze only months prior and I'll be talking about that here

Blaze was with me since kitten age, her mother Cleo was pregnant with her along with other small ones all but blaze was sent away to other homes and it was just her, Cleo and our dog Milo.

as this was years ago I struggle to remember much of the time growing up with them but as time passed things didn't last forever,

Milo suffered a head injury from a car incident and Cleo disappeared one night and got run over by one.

I wasn't there to see Milo go nor could I have been there to see Cleo's body and I was left seeking the closure I just couldn't get.

During the first time I discovered spiritfarer I was still wishing for that closure but something else the game taught me while playing also came up

you don't always get the chance to say goodbye or have the best time with them you just cherish what you can,

I took that with me after I finished the first play through.

The year before I had lost blaze I was wondering how long she'd have left and would the year up and coming be my last with her, while our new dog was causing trouble nothing was wrong with her but in my mind enough time had passed that I kind of just knew in a way.

that came to be at the near end of 2023.

Just in that year I was also in my 2nd play through of the game and all but a few spirits had departed at this point which was making me want to take care of blaze more and more as each one went.

I stopped playing for a couple of days and then the moment happened,

blaze's life was coming to a close.

It started with howling at her water bowl she didn't know where it was sometimes and even struggled to drink it,

she'd wake herself up alot from meowing and I'd have to calm her down then she just slowed down and collapsed one day.

a vet visit was made and it was found out that dementia was taking her in the end, It could've been treated but I didn't want her in any more pain then and so my only option was to let her go.

It was heartbreaking to do so, to see this animal who'd been in my life so long and gave me so much love in return for mine just...not be themselves anymore.

But while difficult it was a last act of peace and love I could give.

Being near the end of spiritfarer reminded me of that

I didn't want to let go but it was the only option I had left,

and the game hugged me tight and told me While it can be difficult its nothing to be afraid of and it'll be ok in the end.

I cannot thank the thunderlotus team enough for helping me come to terms with grief and loss, you's have made something truly beautiful that I'll really hold in my heart forever

thank you so much <3